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How to Play Chess Like an Animal
by Anthea Carson & Life Master Brian Wall
illustrations by Linn Trochim

Reviewed by Rick Kennedy

Mother’s House Publishing, 2007
ISBN:  0979714478
softcover, workbook size (8 ½ x 11 inches), 69 pages
teaches algebraic notation

Chess makes you smart...
Push pawns, not drugs...
Chess improves your academic performance...
Chess builds character...

I can understand grown-ups being excited about the benefits of children learning and playing chess, but if we’re not careful we’re liable to turn the Royal Game into a vegetable – “Push your pawns, Abby: chess helps build strong brains eight ways!”  Yuk.

Fortunately, Anthea Carson and Brian Wall [Editor: insert gratuitous link to Wall's column Going to the Wall, right here at Chessville!] have made sure to put a lot of Fun into their How to Play Chess Like an Animal.  That makes a whole lot of sense, especially from a young kid’s point of view. (Insert random comment about Brian’s well-known riotously child-like sense of humor here.  Rinse.  Repeat.)  I mean, what preschooler or kindergartener is going to show up at the chess club asking, “Please, sir or madam, would you teach me the Second Bulgarian Variation of the Schliemann Defense to the Ruy Lopez?”  (And would you – if one did??)


NM Brian Wall

Carson and Wall have taken instruction on how to play the game of chess, added a beefy glossary of chess terms, folded in some home-spun wisdom, and spiced it heavily with frequently subversive silliness.

All of this is then poured over a menagerie of chess openings, from the Alligator, Bird and Chipmunk, to the Raccoon, Radish and Raptor.

Hah!  Fooled ya!  A radish isn’t an animal, it’s a vegetable.  But like the Fishing Pole, the Mouse Trap, the Lollipop, and Burger & Fries – it’s in there.

Each animal opening in the book is delightfully illustrated by Trochim, who has in the past drawn animated characters from the “Flintstones,” “Scooby Doo,” and “Fat Albert and Friends.”

It makes the book attractive to adults, too, who might want to learn to play chess along with their kids or grandkids.

As Wall writes:

My idea was basically to produce a book where Unorthodox Chess Openings by Schiller meets The Little Prince, Winnie-the-Pooh and Alice in Wonderland.

So you may find yourself reading about the 21 (twenty one??) conditions that have to be met in order for the king to castle, only to realize that, for example, #2 is “He is not playing a banjo” and #12 is “The king must pat the rook on the head as they pass each other.”

And then there is the ultra-important Rule #99.  (I’m not telling.)

Some of the openings are presented with just their first few moves, others with accompanying stories or games.  The Giraffe Attack, for example, is as much a morality play as it is a way of starting a game.  Some openings are likely to be familiar to the reader, like the Bird (1.f4) or the Orangutan (1.b4), while others are more obscure, such as the Lemming (1.d4 Na6) and the Raccoon (1.e4 e5 2.f4 h5).  They can be as innocent as the Smiley Face (1.a3 e5 2.h3 d5 – otherwise known as the Creepy Crawly) or as serious as the Sicilian Dragon (1.e4 c5 2.Nf3 d6 3.d4 cxd4 4.Nxd4 Nf6 5.Nc3 g6).

All of it is designed to give the readers some ideas – and then get them over to the chessboard to play!

If you are playing white, then you are in a very good position because you get to attack.  If you are playing black, then you are in a very good position because you get to defend!

Levity guaranteed, from the stylized menu page courtesy the “Burger Rook Café” to instructions on how to play Chess Bingo (a great idea, Anthea!)  How to Play Chess Like an Animal is not to be mistaken for Modern Chess Openings, ChessBase Magazine, or How to Make Master or Die of Boredom Trying.

Is How to Play Chess Like an Animal for you, or someone you know?  Ask yourself, is the following quote by Kasparov true or false for you: “Chess is not skittles.”  If it is true, then you, future grandmasters and future world champions can all demur.  All budding pawnpushers, however, can safely get in line.  That is, if you’re young – or young at heart.

By the way, the mirth continues onto the website, http://www.chesslikeananimal.com/ where there is a wacky YouTube video.  Check it out.
 

 


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