Chessville - The Top Ten Reasons for Big Vlady’s Blackout

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The Top Ten Reasons for Big Vlady’s Blackout
by Robert T. Tuohey

Vladimir “Blackout” Kramnik

Comp Deep Fritz - Kramnik,V (2750)
Man vs. Machine Chess Match Bonn
GERMANY (2), 27.11.2006

Black to move and lose...

We all expected a dead-draw. Well, we were all dead wrong. Not only did the World Champ lose, but further managed to clinch the title for World Chump by allowing a mate-in-one:

34...Qe3??? 35.Qh7 mate

When asked to explain his incomprehensible blunder, dunderhead Vlady could only reply, “It was very strange, some kind of blackout.”

Is the chess-world to be satisfied with this? Certainly not! And thus your reporter went to work.

My research – titanic in depth, protean in method – has yielded shocking results: it was not one reason, but rather a hellish combination of ten factors that caused the Ice Man to crack.

Countdown to Shame

10. The big boy’s mind drifted to his new French girlfriend.

oo-la-la! Tell me about that special sauce again…

9. Momentarily forgot he was playing classical chess and thought it was suicide chess.

8. His thoughts were befuddled by Fritz’s secret “Brain Scrambler Function”.

7. Tried to unplug Fritz, but disconnected the wire to his own brain instead.

6. Rather than merely blunder away a piece to Fritz (as he did in game five of “The Lame-Brains in Bahrain”, 2002), Kramnik decided to “go all the way.”

5. Wanted to test Fritz’s new “Joke Function.”

4. Forgot how the horsey moves.

3. Decaff coffee!

Blame it on the coffee!